Benefit from a good laugh with these funny quotes

If you are looking for a good laugh to start your day, why not take a read through these funny one-liners curated by the Mediajist review team?

“If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead already?” – Cynthia Heimel

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” – Dalai Lama

“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” – Dale Carnegie

“Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know.” – Daniel J. Boorstin

“It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person’s plate.” – Dave Barry

“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.” – Dave Barry

“I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.” – David Lee Roth

“Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.” – David Letterman

“The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.” – Demetri Martin

“A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.” – Denis Waitley

“Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female.” – Desmond Morris

“A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.” – Don Marquis

“The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.” – Dorothy Parker

“Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.” – Doug Larson

“To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.” – Doug Larson

“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.” – Douglas Adams

“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.” – Douglas Adams

“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.” – Douglas Adams

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